Gabi's Secret
by Kinetic Girl 69
Summary: Gabriella's got her feelings all bottled up. When her world is spiraling out of control, she uses her diary. Can she handle it all?
1. Sunday

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the HSM characters. I do however own Aya!**

**Chapter 1**

My mom gave me this diary for my 15th birthday. She said that I should be writing down my feelings, since I haven't talked to her since Dad died. I just finished a Melody Carlson book and decided it might be a good idea to start writing in it. It seemed to help the girl in the story. The girl in the story had many skeletons in her closet just like me. I would never tell anyone though. They might feel sorry for me. Its hard to make myself write it down. I don't think I'm ready just yet. The girl in the story wrote such good poems and songs. I wish I was that good at expressing my feelings. But no– I happen to have trouble with that. I tend to keep my feelings bottled up.

I went over to Taylor's house today. I didn't call before I went though. Bad mistake. She was making out with Chad on the couch. I should have called. They have been going out since the decathlon and the basketball championships. Boy was that a night. Taylor was kind of upset with me for walking in on her like that.

Taylor's mom answered the door when I got there. "Tay's up in her room." she said when she saw me. Ever since I moved here, Taylor and I have been really close. I took the stairs two at a time to tell her the good news. Troy had finally called me! When I opened the door I saw them. Making out. On the couch. His hand under her shirt. Eww. I was stunned. I couldn't move.

"Gabi!" Taylor shouted when she noticed I was standing there.

"Sorry." was all I could say. Chad rolled off of her and onto the floor.

"Gabi, You could have knocked!" She was outraged. I just wanted to disappear.

"I'm really sorry Tay. I should have called." I turned around to go back home.

"Ya think?" Taylor shouted after me. I was halfway down the hall by now though.

"Relax. It wasn't her fault. She didn't know." I heard Chad calming Taylor down. I felt really good to know I had a friend like him to stick up for me when my best friend was flipping. "She'll call you!" Chad called to me. I heard him say ouch. I guessed Tay had hit him. I just wanted to get out of there. When I got out of that house I ran all the way home.

I didn't even get to tell her Troy called. I really really like Troy, but we aren't dating. He doesn't even like me. At least I don't think. I hope that next time he calls he'll ask me out. That would be so great!

My mom just ran up here. Aya needs to go to the hospital again. They will probably need me to. You see Aya's my twin. She was diagnosed with acute promyelocytic leukemia or APL when we were 3. The doctors said she'd only live til about ten, but with my help she's still just barely alive today. They took bone marrow from me when we were 4 and put it into her. She went into remission for four years but then the cancer came back stronger. Since then, I have under gone several procedures to help her, because I'm a matched donor. With Aya everyday is a battle. Her kidneys are failing now, and they want me to give her one of mine. I can't do it. I love Aya with all my heart, but I just can't. There's only a fifty percent chance of her surviving the surgery. And after that only God knows what. I'm sitting her crying. I've never told anyone this. Not even Aya or my mom. Only our family knows about Aya's APL and I'd never tell any of my friends. I wouldn't want them to feel sorry for me. I feel so much better now that I put that all into words. I understand now why so many girls have diaries and journals.

**Later.**

I just got back from the hospital. Aya needs the kidney really soon or she's going to die.

I feel so terrible. I can't give it to her. I don't want to tell her that either. Or my mom. I spent some time alone with her in her room before we left. Tears are falling on the paper. She asked me to kill her. She said that Mom and I would have less troubles and she's gonna die soon any way. I could tell that she had thought about this for a while now.

"No, Aya." I told her. I was bawling.

"Gabi, you don't understand! You just don't get it do you! You don't know how it is to live like this. Being sick all the time and never not hurting. I feel so much pain right now, I'd be happy dying. I just can't do it myself."

"You're right. I don't understand. You don't deserve this. I agree, but you can't kill yourself. I can't kill you."

"Then don't give me the kidney." she said solemnly.

"I love you Aya. I don't know what to do. I just love you so much."

"Gabriella, I love you more than anyone else in the world. I need you now. I need you Gabi. I'm scared. I know I'm going to die soon, and I'm scared. Real scared."

"You know what Aya? I am too." I told her and hugged her tight. I could feel the tube sticking out of her breast bone poking me. I didn't bother to adjust though. I just wanted to hold her forever. Just like this. Is that too much to ask?

"We need to go home now, Gabi. You can see Aya after school tomorrow." My mom came and broke our perfect harmony.

"See you Aya." I told her, but it was no use. She was asleep. I grabbed my mom's hand and we walked out.

"Mom?"

"Yeah hon." I looked into her eyes. She was tired and worn. Not like how she was before Dad left when we were four. I miss him so much. I couldn't tell her what Aya said. I just couldn't.

"I miss Dad." I broke down right there in the hospital parking lot and cried. Mom just held me until I was done. The rain was beating down on us, but she didn't care. She just held me while I cried. When I pulled away from her I realized that she'd been crying too.

"I miss him too, babe." We turned to get into our car. Now that I'm home writing this I feel like just sitting down and crying. Crying for Mom, Aya, Dad, Grammy, Troy, and me. Instead I knelt down right next to my bed and sang a song to my Lord. Crying the whole way through.

_My world is closing in  
On the inside  
But I'm not showing it  
When all I am is crying out  
I hold it in and fake a smile  
Still I'm broken  
I'm broken  
Only one can understand  
And only one can hold the hand  
Of the broken  
Of the broken_

_When no one else knows how I feelYour love for me is proven real  
When no one else cares where I've been  
You run to me with outstretched hands  
And You hold me in your arms  
Again_

_I need no explanation of why me  
I just need confirmation  
Only You could understand the  
emptiness inside my head  
I am falling  
I am falling  
I'm falling down upon my knees  
To find the one who gives me peace  
I am flying  
Lord I am flying_

_When no one else knows how I feel  
Your love for me is proven real  
When no one else cares where I've been  
You run to me with outstretched hands  
And You hold me in Your arms  
Again_

_I have come to you in search of faith  
Cause I can't see beyond this place  
Oh You are God and I am man  
So I'll leave it in Your hands_

_When no one else knows how I feelYour love for me is proven real  
When no one else cares where I've been  
You run to me with outstretched hands  
And You hold me in Your arms  
Again_

I sang the song and went to bed still crying.

**A/N: Should I continue this story? Or is it a dumb idea? It just came to me so I decided to write it. Should I continue or just not bother? Tell me the truth here. I wont be mad! Review!** **Oh yeah. That song was called "No One Else Knows" by Building 429.**


	2. Monday

**Chapter 2**

I finished my test early, so I can write in this. Troy is sitting two seats to the right of me still scribbling out the answers. Ugh, he is so cute! Guess what? Troy asked me to meet him in our secret spot for lunch. I hope he'll ask me out.

**After Lunch.**

I think this is one of the best days of my life! Troy Bolton, basketball superstar, asked me on a date. Just the two of us. Friday night. We're going to the carnival in town. I'm so excited. I have to find Taylor. Oh yeah, she's mad at me. She didn't call either. I better find her so I can apologize and tell her the good news!

**After School.**

I told Taylor that I was sorry. It was not that hard actually. I walked up to Tay in the hall before psychics. "Taylor!" I called to her.

"Gabi." she snapped back at me.

"Tay, I'm really sorry about what happened yesterday. I really am. I just wanted to tell you some news. I'm really sorry." I apologized.

"Oh, Gabriella. I'm sorry too. I acted like a complete inconsiderate fool. I'm sorry about what I said and how I acted." Wow. What do I say to that?

"That's OK Tay," was what I came to say after a moment of silence. "I forgive you. Do you forgive me?"

"Totally." She winked at me. We both laughed. "So what's the news?"

"Well, last nights news was that Troy called me." We both squealed. "But that seems minor compared to the news I have for today."

"What is it Gabi? You've got me dyin here!"

"Troy asked me out! Friday night we're going to the carnival!"

"Oh yay!" She cried. "Wait, aren't we going to the movies with Sharpay Friday?"

"Oh my gosh. I forgot. I'm so sorry Tay. Should I cancel with Troy?" I can't believe I forgot about that. The three of us were going to go see The Da Vinci Code. I felt so bad.

"NO!" she practically screamed. "You have to go with Troy. We can see the movie Saturday night."

"Sounds good." I laughed.

"Great. I got to go. My mom's picking me up. Bye!" She grabbed her bag and jogged out the door.

So now I'm sitting in Aya's hospital room writing. It's kinda fun actually. It gives me something to do. I walked over here after school and I've been here for about an hour. Just sitting writing and watching my twin. Aya's kidneys are failing pretty rapidly now. They say they need the kidney by Wednesday if she's gonna survive. Any later than that her chances of making it through the surgery are reduced by 30 percent. I feel so guilty not wanting to give my kidney up for her. I don't want to be the one to kill my sister. Aya and I are always there for each other and now that she is dying and its clear I feel terrible. I don't know how my life will go on with out her. She plays such a big role in my life right now. I mean we're twins. We feel each other's pain and joy. It's like when she dies she'll be taking a part of me with her. I don't really know why I'm talking like this. So negative. I just feel like in this diary I should be totally honest even if it means I have to hurt myself. Aya's waking up now.

**At home.**

When I saw Aya turn towards me it's like I knew that she was dying. I got up from the single chair that they have in her room and went over to her.

"Gabriella?" My precious twin said.

"Yeah babe, it's me." I talked back to her in my most sympathetic voice.

"Gabi, you don't need to feel sorry for me."

"But–"

"You should be happy for me. I'm going to feel better. Not stuck here with all these tubes and pain. I'm going to a place where there's no hurting or fighting or leukemia. I'm going to meet my Creator." She smiled. I reached out and grabbed her hand. "Don't be scared for me. I'm gonna be OK. I promise."

"Aya, I'm gonna miss you." I could feel the tears streaming down my cheeks.

"You know what Gabriella? I'm gonna miss you so much. More than you'll ever know. But you know what the best thing is? It's not gonna be good bye. I'll see you again."

"I don't want you to go." I cried. I know I'm being selfish here but I love her so much. She's my twin. My one and only. My best friend. My same.

"I know." she said as a lone tear rolled down her face. "You should go home now. I think Mom is missing you."

"I don't wanna go Aya. I want to stay with you forever. I can't leave." I was so upset then.

"You can leave Gabi. I promise that I'll be here tomorrow. I won't leave you." She vowed.

"OK." I took my hand back and put on my jacket.

"See ya Gabs."

"Adios twin." I said wiping my eyes.

"Adios." She returned. I waved as I walked out the door.

It was a good thing Aya got me to leave. My mom yelled at me for not calling.

"Gabriella Montez! Where were you?" she thundered.

"I was just at the hospital with Aya. You said that I could come back yesterday when we were leaving." I explained.

"You could have called. Do you have any idea how worried I was when I called your phone and it was off. You never have your phone off. I was so worried about you!" she screamed at me.

"Sorry Mom" I hung my head.

"I'm sorry too Gabs." wow that's a shocker. "I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. It was a mistake."

"It's all right." she hugged me.

"What do you want for dinner?" she asked to close the conversation.

We ended up having shrimp teriyaki for dinner. Aya's favorite. It was great.

I'm really surprised that Aya has become so spiritual. I told her that I had given my life to Jesus on Monday. I'm guessing she did too. After going from seeming so scared to being happy about dying I think that she surrendered her life. I'm so happy for her. She'll be so much more confident. Woah, I just had a vision of Aya without her tubes and scars. She was looking down on me from Heaven smiling. Right after that I had an incredible sense of peace fall on me. It's like I know everything's gonna be OK. It's been such a long day. I'm gonna sing a song and go to sleep.

_Can you hear me? Does anyone around me_

_Feel the way that I feel now?_

_Cause from the window where I sometimes cry_

_I just want to see Your face tonight_

_And I'm willing to lose everything I am_

_Cause I need you more than ever_

_I need Your help to find where I've been going wrong so far_

_Take me under Your wing tonight_

_Make me so perfect in Your eyes_

_Hold on cause it will be alright_

_You're not alone anymore_

_When You're near me, I feel like I just found me_

_In the traces of the boy from yesterday_

_But in a world that is so black and white_

_I will take the steps to change my life_

_And I won't be coming back to here again_

_I need Your loving hand to guide me_

_Through the maze of all the things inside me_

_Then I'll know that I'm alright_

_And I need You more than ever_

_I need Your help to find where I'll be going wrong so far_

_Tale me under Your wing tonight_

_Make me so perfect in Your eyes _

_Hold on cause it will be alright_

_You're not alone_

_Please help me get from worse to better_

_Before these tears soak through this lonely sweater_

_And let me know that I'm alright_

_I still have one strike of this match left_

_And I'm holding on to my last breath_

_And its getting a little dark around to see here_

_Take me under Your wing tonight_

_Make me so perfect in your eyes_

_Hold on cause it will be alright_

_You're not alone_

_And You'll be here forever, forever You'll stay_

_And You promised to love me, You'll love me always_

_You'll love me for always, You'll love me for always_

_Always_

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed for the last chapter. I really appreciate it! So how was this one? I recommend reviewing! lol. Just do it!** **This song was called "Take Me" by Hawk Nelson**☺


	3. Tuesday

**Tuesday**

School went by really slow today. I felt like it was never going to end. Only three more days til my date with Troy. I need to tell my mom that I don't want to give my kidney to Aya. The problem is I don't know how.

**A/N: Sorry the chapters like a paragraph long. I'm kinda having some serious writer's block here. I'm open to any suggestions. I'd really like some actually. Please review with any suggestions you might have. lol. I sound like a commercial. :) I guess Gabi had an uneventful day today and didn't write much. :)**

**Adios-**

**Jessica.**


	4. WednesdayPart 1

**Wednesday Part 1**

I promised myself that I'd tell my mom today. I made that promise during first hour when I saw Troy. I couldn't stand missing any bit of him to be in the hospital. I don't want to die or get hurt either. So, now that I'm home from school why cant I bring myself to tell her. Well, to start, I don't want to hurt her feelings. Secondly, I don't really want to kill Aya off. And to top it all off, my mother scheduled the surgery for next Wednesday at 3 PM. I guess the sooner I tell her the better. I don't want to see what happens if I wait until the last minute. Here I go. Wish me luck. I'll need it!

**Later.**

I told her. It went...umm...well...here.

"Mom?" I called when I finally gathered my courage to go and talk to her about the surgery.

"I'm up here!" She yelled back to me. I followed where I thought I'd heard her voice. Sure enough, she was standing in the laundry room ironing clothes. "Hey, hon. What's up?"

"Uhh, Mom? I need to talk to you about something." I began.

"Sure babe. Anything." She set the iron down on the board and put her hands on her hips.

"It's about the kidney surgery." I looked away from her; out the window. "I can't do it."

"What do you mean you can't do it?" she hollered at me. "What about your sister? Don't you know that Aya will DIE with out that kidney of yours?"

"Yes Mom. I know that. I just can't. I can't do the surgery." I could feel the lump rising in my throat. I tried to swallow it down.

"Gabriella Rose! You are being very selfish," she said her voice rising, "Give me one good reason as to why you cannot do this surgery!" I hid my face and turned towards the washing machine opposite the ironing board.

"Mom, you don't get it do you. Aya's suffering and wether or not she gets the kidney, she'll die anyway. You can prolong her life, her hurt and pain, but you will never cure her. She'll eventually die, even if you successfully transplant each organ in her body. That's the truth." The tears stung in my eyes.

"YOU CANNOT SAY THAT! How do you know that some scientist isn't going to find a cure for APL tomorrow or even the next day? Huh, Gabriella?" She thundered.

"Because," I gulped, "even if that does happen, it will be to late for Aya."

"Is that what you want? Do you want her gone?"

"No Mom. You don't understand! I love Aya. She's my twin. My other self. It hurts me to lose her just as much as it hurts you. I'm just the one being real here. I know what's going to happen SOON and I'm just trying to prepare myself. I'm sorry that you don't see it the way I do." At that moment, she turned grabbed the hot iron and pressed it against my arm. I felt my skin crawl. It burned so bad that after a few seconds I couldn't feel the pain anymore. I tried to pull my arm away but my mom is strong. I started to scream. My tears flew freely now. All of the sudden my mom removed the iron to reveal a patch of blistered, bloody, bright red skin, if you could even call it skin. My mom just stared at what she had done. I had stopped crying and just stared at it too.

"I'm so sorry Gabriella. I can't believe I just did that. I will never ever hurt you again. I don't know what got into me." She reached for my hand. I just turned and ran as fast as I could up to my room and locked the door. I went to the bathroom to try to bandage some of my burns. Good thing I took that first aid class. I could still hear my mom at my door, crying and saying sorry all over again. I just wanted her to go away. I can't deal with this. Aya and Mom. My life is harder than I had planned.

It looks like I have either a second or third degree burn. It's hard to tell. I need to get to the hospital. It says to immediately see a doctor in this medical book I have. I'll have to sneak out.

I took the "Troy-way" out from my door and quickly ran to the hospital which was about a mile away without my mother knowing. I stood at the reception desk. It was Anna. I knew her. She had sat with me and Aya before one of her dialysis treatments. Anna was really nice. "Anna?" I questioned. Her head shot up. It took her a moment but she finally recognized me.

"Oh, Hello Gabriella. Here to see Aya again I suppose. I'll have to warn you, visiting hours are over, but I think I can pull some strings." Anna smiled getting up from her chair.

"Oh no. I'm not here to see Aya. Actually I'm here to be treated." I smiled back at her. I reached up to tuck my hair behind my ear, but I quicky drew my hand back and winced in anguish. A shooting pain shot through my arm. Tears pricked my eyes.

"What happened, Dear?"

"Uhh, I had an accident, ummm, cooking. Cooking, uhh...pasta. Pasta, yeah pasta." I said as the thought came to mind. I pulled up my sleeve to let her see my burn.

"Oh my! That doesn't look like a cooking accident." Anna fished.

"It was pretty crazy." I tried to force a smile through the burning agony.

"Does your mom know that you're here?" Anna asked me suspiciously.

"Yeah, she drove me here." I said maybe a little to quickly.

"But she didn't come in?"

"Nope! She had some stuff she had to take care of." I lied. I tried to smile, but again it looked fake.

"Oh, I see. I'll page you a doctor." Anna grinned at me. She turned away and did her thing. I just stood there staring blankly around waiting for some doctor to come and cool my burning arm.

A few minutes later I was lying on a gurney with some guy sticking me with a needle. Apparently, I needed an IV for treatment. Since I was such a regular here with Aya and all, they already had my records. They decided that it was OK for me to go through with the restorative procedures without my mom being here. They stuck me twice before they could finally get a good vein. They drew three vials of blood and shot a whole bag full intravenous solution into my "unburnt" arm. A nurse came with some scary news.

"We're going to inject a numbing solution into your burn, so we can throughly clean the wound. We need to get all of the blisters and obstructions out of the way." I could not believe it. I mean I've been given general anesthesia before: Aya's bone marrow transplant. But I haven't been injected with a numbing solution. Will it hurt? Will it feel weird?

I guess I was wondering out loud, because the nurse said back to me, "Well, Gabriella, the actual injection is very painful, but almost instantly your burn will become numb. And as for the weirdness, I don't really know. I have never had a numbing shot before."

"Oh." I said, turning to look at the burn.

"That's a pretty nasty burn," the nurse said, "How'd you get it?" I decided to stick with the same story I told Anna. All my doctors and nurses will have read the charts, so they should have already known this.

"I burned myself cooking dinner." I told her. She walked over still talking to me and sat down by the burn.

"What were you making?" The nurse made conversation. She took my arm and pulled out a needle with a pink solution in the syringe.

"Pasta. I was going to make lasagna. My mom's favorite."

"Hmm," she said, "OK. One...Two...Three!"

"AHH!" I screamed when she stuck the needle into my raw skin. She was right though, almost immediately I couldn't feel any more hurt.

"That's better, right?" the nurse soothed.

"Yeah." I smiled a real smile this time.

"The doctor will be right in." she turned and left my room. Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a room. It was basically a cubical made with curtains. I could hear the moans from the half-dead old man in the next 'room' to me. About thirty seconds later, a young man came in. He looked about my age. He better be a real doctor.

"Hi Gabriella. I'm Dr. Sanders. I'm a burn specialist, and I'll be treating your's tonight." Dr. Sanders winked at me.

"Nice too meet you." I gave him a fake grin. It was only fake because I was busy worrying about the tools he had in his hand: a medical brush and a razor blade. He came over and sat right where the nurse had just been.

"OK. This wont hurt one bit." Even though he had said that I was still nervous.

"Uhh, OK." I murmured. Dr. Sanders began to scrape my burn with the razor blade. Blood gushed from all the blisters he was genuflecting, but I couldn't feel a thing. I turned away. The blood was all too much. I silently prayed as the burn specialist went on treating my injury.

About ten minutes later, the doctor finally got up and smiled at his work. There was blood all down my arm, but the actual burn itself looked a lot better. It no longer had those hideous blisters. It looked cleanlier.

"You wanted to be an outpatient. Right?" Dr. Sanders asked me. I just nodded at him. The more I look at him the cuter he gets, not as cute as Troy of course.

"OK then. I'll get a nurse in here to tell you how to clean and change the bandages for your burn." He turned and walked out of my so called 'room' and into the hallway to find the nurse.

A few minutes, a nurse with beautiful long blonde hair, whom I've never seen before came in.

"Hello, Gabriella. My name is Kim, and I'll be teaching you some basic burn care." She flashed a smile full of perfectly straight teeth at me.

"OK" She came and sat were Dr. Sanders did to scrape my burn.

"Alright." she began as she pulled out some cream from her bag, along with a bottle of something. "Here," she said holding up the bottle, "is rubbing alcohol. It stings a lot when you put it on, but since you still have that numbing medication in your burn it wont hurt. All you do is squirt some on and rub it in with a hand towel. Like this. See? You don't need that much. Got it?"

"Yeah, I got it." I told her as she gently blotted the over flowing alcohol.

"OK, then," she picked up the cream, "you put this stuff on. It's a cooling gel that also prevents infection and heals the burn. It will help the sting from the alcohol and heal the wound quicker. You just put about this much on and rub it around. Be sure to cover the whole burn. Don't miss any." She showed me how to do that too.

"After all that, you need to bandage it. First you take this gauze," she held up the white scratchy stuff, "and wrap it around your arm about three times. Then, you take some medical tape and wrap it around the gauze to make sure it doesn't fall or slip off. Then your all done. Change your bandaging three times a day and after any showers or contact with water. Put the rubbing alcohol and cream on only twice a day. In the morning when you get up, and before you go to bed. It's that simple." Kim winked at me.

"Sounds easy enough." I said.

"Yup. Do you have any questions?"

"Nope. I think I got it. Wait, when do I get to get out of here?" Kim laughed at me.

"Hopefully sooner than I do. I don't get off my shift until midnight, then my girlfriend Sammi is gonna pick me up. We're going to her mom's house for the rest of the week." Eww. Lesbian. Gross.

"Sounds cool." I forced a smile.

"I'll go get Dr. Sanders and see when you can go home." She turned and left me alone to hear the moans of the scary guy next to me.

**Wednesday Chapter TO BE CONTINUED!**

**A/N: First, thank you so much for all of you who reviewed. All of you gave me great suggestions and I really appreciate it! Secondly, I'm not anti-gay or anything. I actually have no problem with it. It's just Gabi's a little freaked out by that. :). Just an idea that came to me off the top of my head. I was just like why don't I make this girl lesbian. lol. One of those weird things. Wednesday pt. 2 should be up sometime this week. That is if enough people review! Have a nice day!**

**Ciao.**

**Jess**


	5. Wednesday Part 2

**Wednesday part 2**

A few moments later, Dr. Sanders came in. "Hello Miss Montez." He said to me.

"Hi Mr– Doctor! Sorry Dr. Sanders." I'm getting pretty flustered here. This doctor is hot! But, I'd rather have Troy. Duh! He laughed at me.

"It's OK. So, the nurse showed you the proper way to clean and bandage your burn. Right?"

"Yes." I answered politely.

"And you understood the entire thing and have no questions?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Nope." I said.

"Nope, you don't have any questions or nope, you don't understand?"

"I understand, and I have no questions." I told him.

"That's great. You are welcome to leave now, Gabriella."

"Thank the Lord. I couldn't wait to get out of this place." I smiled.

"But, you can't leave with those tubes still in you. Can you?"

"I guess not." I laughed and glanced at my IV.

"I would ask a nurse to come in here and get them out for you, but since you're in such a hurry to get out of here, I'll do it." He sat down next to my unburnt arm. "One, two...three." And with a swift motion he pulled out the IV. "There. You can go now, but you might want to get out of that ugly dress you got on first."

"Yeah. These things are such a fashion faux pas." I laughed.

"Uh, Miss Montez, unfortunately for your sake, you will need to be back here in exactly seven days for a follow up. Just to make sure everything is healing correctly. OK?" Oh gosh. I don't want to come back here again.

"I guess so." I frowned.

"OK, I'll see you in a week."

"Thanks, Dr. Sanders!"

"No problem, Gabriella." He winked at me and walked out the door. I quickly got dressed and went back to the reception desk where Anna was.

"Hey, Anna." I called to her.

"Oh, Hi! How'd it go?" She asked me. I pulled up my sleeve to show her the snow white bandage. "Good as new. Right?" She laughed.

"Yeah," I said. "Do you think you could get me into Aya's room?"

"I think I can. As long as you promise not to tell anyone." She winked at me.

"I promise."

"Ok, just go up there. I don't think that anyone will ask you, but if they do say Anna sent me." She smiled brightly.

"Thanks!" I turned on my heel and started to Aya's room. When I got there Aya was sleeping. She blended in so perfectly with the white bed sheets. I almost didn't recognize her. She was so pale looking. I sat down next to her and told her the whole story about what happened with mom. Even though she's asleep, I know she can hear me. Aya's good like that. I took her hand and prayed with her. I cried the whole way through. The thought of losing my twin was just mind shattering. It was almost 1:00 AM, and I needed to go to school tomorrow. I grabbed my coat and cell phone and left Aya sleeping.

What am I going to do now? I can't go back home. Not with mom there. I took out my phone and dialed Troy.

"Hullo?" Troy answered.

"Troy! You're awake?" I was surprised.

"Yeah. Is everything OK?" He asked me. I thought about it for a second. Is everything OK? My whole world is falling apart.

"Uh, I guess. Actually no, can you come pick me up?" I asked him back.

"Gabi, what's wrong? Where are you?"

"I'm at the hospital. Please come and get me. I don't want to answer any more questions right now."

"Sure. I'll be there in ten minutes. Don't move."

"Thanks Troy!"

"Bye." He said. I hung up my phone. It's freezing out here. I sat down on the bench outside the hospital. I pulled my knees into my chest and waited.

A good fifteen minutes later Troy arrived. "Gabi!" He shouted from his truck. I ran and hopped into the passenger seat.

"Thank you so much for picking me up." I told him.

"Anytime. You're going to be my girlfriend. Right? I guess I got to get used to it." He smiled.

"Are you asking me–

"Yeah, will you?" He said.

"Troy, I'd love to be the wildcats superstar's girlfriend." I leaned over and pecked his cheek.

"I knew you'd say yes."

"You did, did you?" I teased.

"Yeah," he laughed, "So, where to? Your house?"

"Uh, I was hoping I could stay at your's?" I said.

"I'm sure my parents will be OK with it. Although my mom's not home yet. I'm really worried about her. She's never late for dinner." He laughed.

"I'm sure she's fine." I assured him.

"So are you going to tell me why in the world were you at the hospital?" Lots of thoughts jumped to my head. The surgery, Aya, my mom. I couldn't keep it all in. I had to tell someone. I just don't think I'm ready. I decided to go with the same story I told the nurses. I held up my sleeve to show him my bandage.

"What happened?" He asked.

"Cooking accident." I informed him.

"Wow Gabi! Does it hurt?"

"Actually no it doesn't. It will later though. Right now they have some numbing stuff still in my arm. It should wear off in a little bit. Do you mind if I have some advil at your house?"

"Yeah, you can." he laughed. "I'm glad it doesn't hurt though. Cooking can be very dangerous."

"You bet!" I smiled. We pulled into Troy's driveway. He looked around and turned back with a disappointed look.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's nothing. My mom's not home yet. That's all. I'm sure she's fine though. She's probably stopped at my grandma's, and forgot to call. She's done that before."

"Troy, I'm sure she's fine." We got out of the car and he took my burn healing kit. "Thanks." I smiled. We walked into his house only to find Troy's dad making out with a young blonde haired girl. Definitely not Mrs. Bolton.

"DAD!" Troy yelled. Mr. Bolton jumped up from the couch.

"Troy! What are you doing here? I thought you were sleeping. Why is this trash here?"

"Ok, first off, she is not trash, Dad. Gabriella is my girlfriend–"

"So now you're dating her! She got you to sing. What about basketball?" Troy's dad hollered.

"I thought we already talked about this. Speaking of trash, Dad, who the hell is she?" Troy screamed pointing at the blonde girl. She looked about our age.

"She's just a friend, Troy." Mr. Bolton calmed down a bit.

"A friend? A friend you were making out with? Don't try to deny it! We walked in on you!" Troy's voice got louder. I grabbed his hand. He just shook it off. I was really scared.

"You know what Troy?" Troy's dad's voice cracked, "So did your mom. Last night. She's staying at your grandma's."

"You have got to be kidding me." This time it was Troy's voice that cracked. He turned to me. "Gabi, can you go wait in my room. I'll be right up. Promise."

I had never been in his room, but I found the stairs and just looked around after that. His room wasn't that difficult to find, since he was an only child. I sat just on the edge of his neatly made bed. His room was pretty clean for being a guy. I curled my knees up to my chest, like at the hospital, and prayed. I could hear the loud yelling from below me, but I zoned it out as I spoke to God. Once I said "Amen" it was like everything was OK. I felt this overwhelming sense of peace. Like I was in the center of a hurricane, the eye, the calm. I knew that even though my world was crashing around me, somehow everything was going to be fine. I decided not to wait for Troy and I stretched out on his bed. Sleep is a wonderful thing.

**A/N: How was it? I thought it threw some curves. lol. You'll never guess what's happening next! You can find out if you review:) have a good day everyone. Ciao! **

**Jess**


	6. Thursday

**A/N: I decided to just have the story take place in Gabi's present POV not in her diary. It's to hard for me to have to write everything in past tense and then think of a way to get back to events. SO, from now on it's not in the diary. I think I made it sound a little confusing. Get it?**

**Thursday.**

I woke up to the sound of Troy's shrill alarm. Another day of school. I rolled over to find Troy facing me; his nose only centimeters from mine.

"Mornin'" he smiled.

"Mmm, I'm tired" I said. He laughed.

"Is this to early for my girlfriend." he flirted.

"Yeah," I returned.

"Do you want me to take you to your house so you can get ready? You wore that outfit yesterday." He winked and sat up. I, too, sat up.

"That would be gr– Troy! What happened to your eye? Was that your dad?" I said, now seeing his ugly black eye in the shift of the light.

"Uhh," he looked away, "my dad got a little mad last night."

"Oh my god Troy! That looks terrible. You have to tell someone." I started to panic.

"It looks worse than it feels. It was just a fight anyway. It's not like it happens every night. Plus, you saw what happened last night. We walked in on my dad cheating. I think that calls for a little fight." He cracked a fake smile. He looked into my eyes. "Don't worry Gabi. It's fine."

"Ok, are you going to talk to your mom?"

"Yeah. I just don't know what to say. I really don't want them to split up, but how could they not. I mean my dad was making out with another girl right in front of us. And it's not like he wasn't aware that Mom knew about it."

"Don't worry Troy. Everything will work out." I leaned over and hugged him tight.

After about two minutes of embrace, he pulled away. "How do you know that?" I saw the tears running down his cheeks.

"Because, Troy, God will make it happen. He will make it OK." I tried to explain.

"If God makes everything OK, then why did He make this happen to me? Why did He have my Dad cheat? He's not making everything better, He's just making my life bad. If God's supposed to make things good, then I don't think there's such thing." He was crying hard now. I wasn't sure what to say. Then I remembered a verse from the bible I read a few nights ago. Luke 21:14-15 says "But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves. For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict." I realized then, after recalling that verse, I would tell Troy the truth.

"Troy, I think I should tell you something. I have a twin. Her name is Aya. When we were little Aya was diagnosed with acute promyelocytic leukemia. Remember we learned about it in health? Well, anyway, I've been her medical donor since we were kids. I've given her everything from bone marrow to promyelocytes. Now, her kidneys are failing and if she doesn't get a kidney transplant she will die. Soon. My mom already scheduled the surgery for next Wednesday and I can't do it. My sister said that she just wanted to die. Die so she could be with the Lord. Aya told me not to do the surgery. When I told my mom that I couldn't do the surgery, she gave me this." I pulled up my sleeve for him to see the bandage. "Even though all these things are going wrong in my life, I somehow know that God will take care of me."

Troy just stared at me openmouthed. I could tell he was totally in awe. "Wow. Uh..I...umm...had no idea." He stammered.

"How bout we talk about it more in the car. We need to get to my house soon, or we'll be late for school." I suggested.

"Ok." He got up, grabbed his keys, and we went downstairs. "Oh look, he left us a note." Troy said glancing over at the table, where a torn sheet of paper lay.

_Troy-_

_Gone to work, wont be home til late. I'm going to stop by at your grandma's house to talk to your mother. Sorry about last night. _

_Dad._

_Gabriella-_

_Sorry you had to witness what happened last night. I'm sorry I called you a tramp. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. _

_No hard feelings– _

_Mr. Bolton._

"I can't believe him. I just can't believe him." Troy ripped up the note. I grabbed Troy's hand and pulled him into my arms.

"Relax, Troy. It will work out. Just wait and see." I whispered into his ear. He shivered and pulled away.

"We have to go." Once we got into his truck, he flipped on the radio. The entire ride to my house was filled only with the sounds of Switchfoot singing "Dare You to Move."

_Welcome to the planet  
Welcome to existence  
Everyone's here  
Everyone's here  
Everybody's watching you now  
Everybody waits for you now  
What happens next  
What happens next _

I dare you to move  
I dare you to move  
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor  
I dare you to move  
I dare you to move  
Like today never happened  
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout  
Welcome to resistanceThe tension is here  
Tension is here  
Between who you are and who you could be  
Between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move  
I dare you to move  
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor  
I dare you to move  
I dare you to move  
Like today never happened  
Today never happened

Maybe redemption has stories to tell  
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell  
Where can you run to escape from yourself?  
Where you gonna go?  
Where you gonna go?  
Salvation is here

I dare you to move  
I dare you to move  
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floorI dare you to move  
I dare you to move  
Like today never happened  
Today never happened  
Today never happened  
Today never happened before

The song ended just as we pulled into my driveway. I saw my mom running to the truck. "GABRIELLA MONTEZ! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORRIED ABOUT YOU I WAS?"

"Sorry Mom." I hung my head.

"Get out of that truck right now! And you," she pointed at Troy, "are never aloud to see my daughter again. LEAVE!"

"No!" I cried.

"See ya, Gabriella." Troy called as he backed his truck out.

"Mom! How could you?" I said through choking sobs.

"I'm your mother and I can do whatever I want!" She sneered. "Now, get into the house. We need to talk." She grabbed me by the ear and pulled me up the driveway and into the house. Just then, the phone rang. My mom answered and her face changed from raging to shocked to jubilant.

"Gabriella, go get dressed. You're skipping school today and we are going to the hospital."

"Is Aya OK? What happened?"

"They found her a kidney."

"Really?"

"Yeah, now hurry up. I'll explain on the way." I ran upstairs, got dressed as quickly as I could and sprinted back down. I thought I was going to give Aya my kidney on Wednesday. What's up with this? I jumped into the car and we sped off to the hospital.

"I suppose you're wondering what's going on with all this." my mom said.

"Uh, yeah!"

"Well, last night I called the hospital and told them to put Aya on the donor list, because you couldn't do the surgery. They put her on the top of the list for her blood type, since she's so far advanced in this kidney failure. They called saying that someone was just brought in that was a match to her blood type. They wouldn't tell me who it was or what happened to her. They just said that she came in brain dead from an accident and her organs are still salvageable."

"That's great!"

"Yeah, they are prepping Aya for surgery right now. They haven't told the donor's relatives yet, but they said that they would do that as soon as they got my permission for Aya to have the surgery." We pulled into the hospital parking lot and briskly walked in. My mom headed straight for the desk to find where Aya was at and I just went to sit down. That's when I saw him. They guy that was in all those pictures with Aya, my mom, and I. They guy that was in my mom's wedding album that she kept all these years. They guy that ran out on our family when Aya and I were four. My dad.


	7. Friday

**Friday**

"Dad?" I ventured closer to the oddly familiar man. He truned towards me and just stared openmouthed.

"A..Aya? You got better! That's so great!" my dad thought I was my twin.

"No, Daddy. It's Gabriella." I fought back the tears.

"Oh, Gabi. I've missed you."

"Sure you have. You missed me, but you never bothered to call." I felt the anger bubbling up inside me.

"I tried to call. I waited about two weeks so your mom and I could get ourselves straightened out. When I did call, the phone had been disconnected. I called your grandma's house too, but she was so mad at me she wouldn't talk."

"Great story!" I was really crying now. Hot and angry tears.

"Gabi, it's not a story." He grabbed my shoulders and tried to calm me down.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled at him. My mom turned around from the line.

"Gabi, are you OK?" She saw me crying and ran over.

"Jackie?" (**A/N: Jackie's Gabriella's mom's name**.)

"Sam?" (**A/N: Sam will be Gabi's dad's name.**)

For a moment, time seemed to stop. That is until to girls with flowing dark hair that looked shockingly like me came up to us.

"Dad?" One of the girls said. Oh no. They looked about my age. Did my dad have a second family? Even when he was us? Again, I filled up with those same hot tears. I glanced over at my mom. She was already drowning in them.

"Yeah cupcake?" That right there broke my heart. I was Daddy's cupcake. That's all I remember about him. He'd come home from his weekend business trips, swing me in his arms, and say, "Hey cupcake! You look especially sweet today! I missed you so much!" Then he'd give me a kiss and go on to Aya. He called Aya his bumblebee. I could tell that my mom was thinking the same thing I was. She tensed up and grabbed my hand.

"Dad, did you get any news about mom? Is she OK?" The other girl asked.

"I don't know yet, bumblebee." That's it!

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" I screamed into his face. I got up and ran outside. I couldn't breathe. I felt like the whole world was spinning. Then everything went black.

* * *

I woke up in a hospital bed with an IV in my arm.

"She's waking up!" I heard my mom's voice.

"Gabriella?" A man's voice sounded. Was it my dad? I blinked my eyes open. They felt like they weighed a million pounds each.

"Hi honey." my mom came over and grabbed my hand.

"Gabi?" I looked to find that the male voice was in fact my dad.

"You know Dad? For the past eleven years, I hoped every night that if I was good enough you'd come back for me. But now that you're here, the only thing I can think of is you leaving." His face fell.

"Ok, I'm truly sorry Gabriella. You know you look exactly like your mom." He walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek. "I'm sorry." I heard him whisper into her hair. My dad turned and left the room.

"Mom?" I asked. She nodded back. "You still love him, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do."

**A/N: Sorry the chapter's so short. I wrote it in the car on the way to the hospital, so it might not be the best ever. ;) Please review!**


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